Somewhere in Maesteg

'Tis wasted on the kids...

2008-02-20T17:52:00.002Z

Still alive, just too damn lazy to post...

Anyway, last weekend I actually slept - which was bliss; fingers crossed, I've got the whole working nights/time off sleeping pattern sorted. Of course, it helped that I took some Kalms sleeping tablets - initially, I was dead set against taking anything medicinal to help me sleep, but thankfully Kalms' is herbal: three of them, and one glass of beer and I was sorted. :)

Anyway, my post title:

I saw Shaun the Sheep this afternoon... and I'm telling you, it's wasted at ten to four in the afternoon - it should be on at tea-time so that everyone can watch it. If you do get a chance, try and catch it - if you liked Wallace & Gromit, then you'll love it.

Centurion's Ghost

2008-01-28T20:11:00.000Z

I don't think I'll be drinking that particular ale for awhile...

Visited York last weekend for a semi-regular British Fantasy Society Open Night organised by Lee Harris - first time in the fair-city, where the likes of Ramsey Campbell, Peter Crowther, Simon Clark and Mark Morris, along with Allyson Bird and Peter (sorry, forgotten your surname) regaled us with ghostly readings.

Though it may sound like a bit of an excuse, but my staying power was tempered somewhat by a lack of sleep from Friday night, hence my unceremonious nodding off just after the meal (which sadly ended up elsewhere...)

Retired to my hotel room - somehow, since I vaguely recall walking but not actually up the stairs, opening the door, nor turning on the television since I woke up still wearing my glasses and the set tuned to BBC1.

Bumped into Allyson at breakfast, and then went for a wander around...

Very...

A very picturesque City, it must be said, though the rustic charm was tempered a little by the onslaught of the UK High Street - but Minster Park was very lovely.

Mojo

2008-01-23T19:48:00.000Z

I don't usually read this particular music magazine, but have to admit the free CD caught my eye (along with the indepth interview with Radiohead - mind you, I didn't bother downloading the album; I'm waiting for the CD release...)

The actual cover-mount CD is a rather spiffing compilation of synth and electronic music, from Tangerine Dream, early-Human League, to total unknowns (like Fujiya & Miyagi - the track "Ankle Injuries" is excellent, along with John Foxx's "Burning Car".)

Mind you, no Kraftwerk though... conspicuous by it's absence, if you ask me.

Of course, if you don't like electronic/synth music then this post'll be of no interest to you.

All I want for Christmas...

2008-01-23T19:44:00.000Z

Dear Santa, I know it's early but I thought I'd get in quick... could you possibly see fit to buy me one of these, please? I've been a very good boy.

Thank you,

Chris

One of the finest love songs ever written...

2008-01-19T18:58:00.001Z

... and the video is pretty damn beautiful too:

When I was putting together Tourniquet Heart for publication, I actually wrote to Nick Cave's record company to see if I could reproduce the lyrics as an actual "story" within the anthology.

It wasn't too expensive, but I left my response lapse and before I knew it the publisher was asking for the completed mss like, well, today.

Still kicking myself today - listen to the lyrics, they're just beautiful.

Cloverfield

2008-01-18T20:20:00.000Z

What exactly is it? Well, I'm not in too much of a hurry to find out, frankly; shaky-cam in the trailer is bad enough, so I don't think I'll be able to sit through two hours of feeling nauseous.

(I spent two days, thank you very much - don't want to go through that again...)

Why do today's directors insist on using shakycam? It doesn't add to suspense - it just alienates part of your audience, because your mind instead of concentrating on the film is more interested in stopping your stomach from hurling.

I'm all for kinetic camera-work, but please, use a Steadicam instead, or a Louma crane. Or, heaven forbid, take a leaf out of Alfonso Cauron and Emmanuel Lubeski's book and utilise their techniques in Children of Men: very tense, energetic scenes with no hint of shaky camerawork.

In fact, could you imagine the go-kart scene in The Shining if they used shakycam? Or De Palma's superb shoot-out sequence from The Untouchables?

Shakycam works in music videos, but that is where it should stay.

Enough of my film-geeky rant.

Routine

2008-01-17T19:19:00.000Z

Last week fucked me up; had one of those "bug" things going around - no vomiting (thankfully), but whatever it was knocked me for six for two days: uncontrollable shivering, nauseous, and the inability to sleep (to the point that when I was lying in bed, my mind "dreamt" of three or four things at once and therefore it couldn't shut down). Again, I felt like Reznik.

But, once it passed I was much better; and now, I'm in that welcome routine of work-sleep-play-work-sleep-play, albeit at different times to you. Mind you, it does help having a pair of thick curtains to block out the day-light, and the fact that it's still dark when I go to sleep - be interesting to see if I'll find it this easy when BST starts...

In other news, started work on Triquorum III and should be putting The Reef to bed in a couple of weeks (ready for it's launch at Eastercon - whose going?)

I also received my self-assessment tax bill today... eeek. The less said about that the better.

Knackered...

2008-01-05T20:52:00.000Z

... night-shift is seriously fucking with my body-clock: I'm okay sleeping during the day, after each shift, but when it comes to my days off; hardly any sleep last night, felt totally lethargic today - now I know how Reznik felt in The Machinist.

Anyway, enough of my woes: the festivities were good - drank far too much on the Big Day (though I had to really since I was working Boxing Night, making up for the loss of time!) Mind you, moving jobs this close too Christmas isn't really recommended - you end up working all but the statatory holidays, which is a pain. Ah well...

Still, didn't work New Year's Eve so at least I managed to have a drink to bring in the new year and my 34th birthday. Do I feel old? Not then, but now... any night-shifters out there with some advice on how to get your body back to sleeping at night when you're not working?

Anyway, in other news: picked up a copy of Disturbed's Ten Thousand Fists earlier this week (it features a cover of the Genesis track "Land of Confusion" which is just superb). If you feel like a spot of head-banging, then you'd be a fool not to listen. :)

(Just to prove my own eclectic music tastes, I purchased it along with a collection from Toto and Karl Jenkins' Requiem.)

Nadolig Llawen!

2007-12-20T20:29:00.000Z

I know what you're all thinking, and it's the same question that has plagued your mind since you were a little nipper: what does Father Christmas do during the rest of the year?

I think I've found the answer... 'tis rather shocking:

I wonder if he got a discount?

Tungston-Carbide drill?

2007-12-20T20:25:00.000Z

What the bloody hell is it? ;-)

Madness!

2007-12-15T22:18:00.001Z

This is a song about buying a packet of condoms?

Never!

If only...

2007-12-12T20:33:00.001Z

... not that long ago, there was a little spat concerning the Union Jack and how it should be re-designed to incorporate the Welsh dragon (as it stands now, the flag only represents England and Scotland - Wales, being a principality, isn't officially a country and is technically part of England).

Many - including myself - didn't give a toss either way, but it got tongues wagging and made a few column inches in various media outlets (which was handy since Brown's Government was under some strain at the time... conspiracy, moi?)

Anyway, via a messageboard, I found this "reader-designed" flag courtesy of the Telegraph:

Well, I for one reckon it's by far the coolest flag I've ever seen (it's on the Shaft-scale of cool-ness); absolutely tremendous and should be instated immediately as the Nation's emblem.

Then, how about this for the new Anthem?

Yeah? ;-)

All change...

2007-12-09T14:03:00.001Z

I'm off; after six - almost seven - years, I handed in my notice. The job I'm going to isn't ideal (but then is anything?) but it's closer, which means less travelling and subsequently a saving of £80 or so a month in fuel, and around the same salary despite a shorter working week (Sunday night to Thursday night).

Of course, if the boss actually offered me an increase in salary then perhaps my decision could be swayed, but he hasn't and so I'm off.

In other news, the Pendragon site was finally unveiled to the world last Wednesday - point your browser to www.pendragonpress.net and marvel in it's glory. ;-)

I was actually down in London on Friday night for the BFS Open night - there to launch the latest PP title, No-Man and Other Tales. A splendid night, it must be said; I sold most of what I brought, which meant that I covered my costs. Waa-heyyyy!

Mind you, I did end up browsing Foyles on Charing Cross Road and buying a bag-ful of books, so I suppose what I made I negated. Damn you, Foyles!

(Of course, you could all pop along to the new site and buy a book or two... it would help, and they would make marvellous Christmas presents.)

"This bloke came upto me..."

2007-11-30T19:59:00.000Z

Being a fan of Pete & Dud, and their alter-egos Derek & Clive, this particular animation is rather good (though it does contain strong language):

If you prefer Pete & Dud, without the language, then you'd probably like this clip from Not Only, But Also:

One of the funniest things is watching Dud "corpse" it... and Pete making him "corpse" it.

Peter Cook will always be funny, but he really needed Dudley Moore to help him out - that's the true nature of a comedy double-act: either without the other is rarely as funny.

Genius at Work

2007-11-27T21:37:00.000Z

Courtesy of Gary Greenwood I clicked this link and discovered something that I knew for a very long time...

Of course, there is fine line between genius and madness but hey-ho! who cares... ;-)

Bwah-wah-wah-wah!

"You never fuckin' 'eard of the Millennium Nova?"

2007-11-22T21:57:00.000Z

Taff Wars: where Star Wars meets South Wales... tidy. :-)

'S funny, but I suppose if you don't live in South Wales then you probably won't get the joke.

Back in the Day....

2007-11-10T21:34:00.001Z

This is almost turning out to be a semi-regular trip down nostalgia lane, but I don't care!

Anyway, one of my very favourite games on the Speecy was this - Carrier Command:

You were basically in charge of a super-aircraft carrier in some far-future land with just one task: to capture more islands in an archipelago than your enemy from the opposite end. It was absolutely submersive: whole hours would disappear, as you tried to combat each island's defences, not to mention making sure your own carrier and aircraft were intact... they don't make 'em like they used to.

The clip is a recording from the audio tape that came with the game - the in-game music (being a Speccy was shite) so David Lowe was allowed some proper recording equipment. It's great. :)

After the Speccy, I upgraded to an Atari ST and thankfully Carrier Command was vastly improved, but this next game I don't think can be beaten for sheer scope: Starglider 2 - an entire solar system of planets to explore...

Chuggers

2007-10-30T20:03:00.000Z

gI've heard of them, but so far they haven't been down here... until tonight: a chugger knocked on my door this evening, not quarter of an hour ago.

Now, I'm not a heartless soul and give to charity as and when I see it, but knocking on your door soliciting for business is, well, rather uncharitable if you ask me.

Mind you, it doesn't surprise me considering the plethora of media advertising I've seen recently - the NSPCC being a prime candidate: they ask for just £2 a month. Okay, fair enough, but of that £2 a month how much actually goes towards helping a child, compared to say the cost of producing and airing the advert (Saatchi & Saatchi aren't cheap, you know...)

What I suggest is this: instead of producing these cheap info-mercials (I think that's the term) and hiring commercial agencies, how about using the money raised for the purpose it was meant for and that is to stop child cruelty. Full stop.

Take on Me

2007-10-19T23:22:00.000Z

Bloody hell, this takes me back... didn't think much of the song back then, but now - it's actually pretty good. The video, though, still looks fantastic.

Alice... who the...

2007-10-13T16:08:00.000Z

As I've got older, I've begun to appreciate the landscape around me more - it could possibly be my sub-conscious telling me that you're about to snuff it mate (gve or take another fifty years).

And programmes such has the BBC's Coast whet that appetite.

Mind you, it does help in having Dr Alice Roberts as one of the presenters: brains and beauty.

Swoon.

"I Believe"

2007-10-05T22:17:00.001Z

Great song, great film, gorgeous actress/singer: cheesy video. C'est le vie.

If you haven't guessed already, and/or you haven't seen the film, then I definitely recommend you see Run Lola Run.

Urgh

2007-09-30T11:28:00.000Z

Tad hungover this morning - went to my cousin's wedding reception, and imbibed far too much Old Speckled Hen and absolutely murdered American Pie on the karoake.

Still, we enjoyed ourselves.

Plus, Wales are out of the Rugby World Cup. :(

"Wassup, doc?"

2007-09-17T10:37:00.000Z

Apologies for lack of posting - not that I've been insanely busy, just a slightly "meh" attitude to updating the blog; lack of motivation, I think it's called. Mind you, Pendragon has been taking up some time as of late...

Anyway, the title of this blog: refers to a line spoken by Paul Giamatti from the film Shoot'Em-Up (which I saw last night). A total, rawkin' blast; a balls to the wall action-fest, where you leave your brain the foyer. Surrounded by a head bangin' metal soundtrack, we join Giamatti (obviously enjoying himself playing the bad-guy) along with Clive Owen and the gorgeous Monica Bellucci in a tale which takes a smidge from John Woo's Hard Boiled but it's mainly an extremely violent live-action Looney Tunes with Bugs and Elmer Fudd.

The plot makes no sense and there are so many deux ex machina moments that make you slap your forehead, but director Michael Davis (along with the cast) put so much, well, craziness into the production that you just can't help but get sucked in.

How can you not like a film which features an aerial/free-fall gun-fight? It's shit, but damn good shit. ;-)

Speecy Love

2007-08-29T21:53:00.000Z

No words, just click:

*jaw drops*

Bourne Ultimatum

2007-08-22T09:32:00.000Z

I wanted to blog about this on Sunday but never got around to it...

Anyway, watched the last (?) of the Bourne flicks at the weekend, and I have to say it's a bloody good piece of entertainment: superb set-pieces handled with aplomb by Paul Greengrass, who prior to directing the previous Supremacy wasn't exactly known for making action flicks, but with these two under his belt, not to mention the very tense United 93 then I reckon he should take Michael Bay, Kurt Wimmer, Len Wiseman, et al under his tutelage and give them a crash-course in directing action sequences with an added touch of intelligence thrown in.

When I saw the first Bourne Identity knowing very little about it (except that I was a fan of Doug Liman's Go) I was pleasantly surprised at the American's out-Bond-ing Bond, and Matt Damon definitely gives a better performance of a more realistic Government agent (which is probably why Broccolli & Co went back to basics with Casino Royale).

By the time James presses that tinny button on his watch, Bourne would've whacked him unconcious with the nearest rolled-up newspaper.

But, Bourne needed the British touch which is why the series - under the helm of the English Greengrass - has progressed in leaps and bounds, and I'm pretty certain there will be fourth - though without Damon and Greengrass they may has well not bother.

Deployment Strategy

2007-08-10T20:26:00.000Z

It's not often you find low-budget short films with visual effects that wouldn't look out of place on a big-budget feature, but I've found one: an unashamed sf action-fest which just looks stunning.

Watch the trailer - it's fantastic.

It's only science fiction...

2007-08-10T09:16:00.000Z

... and only for geeks and saddo's. Well, possibly, but it's also a genre of thinkers and future-gazers.

It's not often I agree with the Daily Torygraph, but a bloody good article.

Nothing Else Matters

2007-07-30T21:26:00.000Z

I've only got two albums by Metallica, but this is one of favourite songs:

Just sublime.

Heroes

2007-07-25T21:42:00.001Z

I've just watched the two-parter on BBC2 and I have to say: never has hype been so fucking justified - when I saw the end credits, I looked at the clock on the wall and considered Hiro was real and did something with time... it was just superlative; one of the most intelligent pieces of telefantasy I have seen.

Truly exceptional.

Can't wait for next week.

Dilbert

2007-07-17T09:50:00.000Z

For the past year or so, I feel as if I'm walking into a Dilbert cartoon strip every day...

What is it with management and the ethos where they should keep their workforce in the dark about matters pertaining to their job or the company? Do they believe we're not mature enough to take it?

It's not like we're a big company - there's only nine of us, including the MD, yet the level of communication is frankly fuck all; mushrooms and shit come to mind.

And there's so much of the latter flying around, chinese whispers and so forth: the MD is down in London today with a meeting, he has another scheduled next week with another company we deal with, and now our technology/software manager is leaving - to work for a company in Brisbane, a subsidiary of our main business "partner".

If we're finished, I basically want to know - the less information is available, the more the whispers grow; but, the MD is of the American school of management and talks in spin...

He's a nice enough guy, and obviously under pressure, but he knows I also run my own business - admittedly, it's small, but I do have an inkling what it's like...

If the shit does hit the fan, then that's probably all the kick up the arse I need to think about going full-time.

But, I just want to know, god-dammit!

Anyway, this cheered me up: Hitler is banned from Xbox Live!

Lundun

2007-07-06T19:37:00.000Z

Off to the big-smoke tomorrow, to attend the BFS' Award Showcase evening in the Ye Olde Cock Tavern, to promote wot I did last year, namely Gary McMahon's Rough Cut, Rhys Hughes' At the Molehills of Madness, along with the two anthologies Triquorum One and Choices.

Though of course I shan't be drinking and talking bollocks - this is a serious evening, attended by professional people and not piss-heads.

Well, some.

Should be fun, except that I've since learned Lundun will be full to bursting with those music-lovers going to the Live Earth gig not to mention the Tour de France (two events which are, quite frankly, a walking advertisement for being ironic.)

Anyway, back on Sunday - unless of course some stupid sod decides the date 7/7/7 is too much of an opportunity to miss...

"I ain't bovvered!"

2007-07-05T08:11:00.000Z

Well, it's official: Catherine Tate is the new assistant for Doctor Who. To be honest, I do like Ms Tate and that I wasn't exactly hooping for joy when Billie Piper was originally cast (yet, I grew to like Rose and almost shed a tear when she left...) so I'm keeping an open-mind, but after the superb episode "Blink" many Whovians were calling on Carey Mulligan to be appointed as the new assistant, and I was one of them (not that I'd call myself a Whovian, more like a proto-Dr Who fan). She was not only very pleasing on the eye, but also gave a very good performance as Sally Sparrow, the episode's protagonist.

Also, I always thought the Doctor's assistants were younger than he was, which added to the whole "uncle" persona.

Anyway, I'm sure Russell T Davies knows what he's doing... I hope, though I reckon he should be giving more episodes to Steven Moffat and Paul Cornell.

Just my five-cents worth - excuse the Americanism.

Two pints?

2007-06-28T09:29:00.000Z

And I feel totally whacked this morning - just had a second cup of tea, plus a welsh cake and life has returned...

I'm not a big drinker - despite numerous posts on this blog, but in my defence the said posts were made on the weekend which is when I usually have a drink (or three) - but last night I finished my script, e-mailed it off to TAPS and decided to re-watch a couple of episodes of Alias (second series) and lo and behold there were two bottles of Weston's Cider in the fridge.

Two bottles = two pints. 'Tis not a lot, and I wasn't too late going to bed, but woke up this morning and just felt drained...

So, moral of the story: don't drink two bottles of Weston's on a work-night.

Alias was good, though: got the third series to re-watch, then I'll pick up the fourth (should be cheaper by then...)

Ils/Them

2007-06-24T11:21:00.001Z

Being a fan of horror cinema, most of the time you're shaking your head at the current shite which passes for "horror" in the cinema today; the so-called sub-genre of "torture porn" and director's such has Eli Roth or insepid remakes courtesy of so-called directors like Jan de Bont or Joel Schumacher.

Then, you come across Them (or "Ils" in the original French) which I watched last night in suitable surroundings: 1am, in bed and with a variable amount of alcohol in one's blood-stream, and I have to say it scared the living shit out of me.

Seriously; I cannot remember jumping so much, feeling so much tension whilst watching a film at home... actually, yes I can - The Haunting.

Essentially, the story of Them is apparently inspired by true events (though this is no Hallmark video-travesty) about a young French couple - a teacher and a writer - who live in a secluded house in Romania and one night they're terrorised by the "them" of the title; persons unknown and with little motive for why.

This is serious old-school horror film-making - no gratuitous violence nor gore (if at all); just bloody good tension and shocks that will make you jump.

The only down-side is that Hollywood will inevitably discover it and someone like Michael Bay will decide to remake it (be very afraid that he's due to produce a remake of The Birds...)

Anyway, if you get a chance rent this out and watch it - you will thank me. :-)

I also watched Notes on a Scandal which, despite some queer changes in character and story continuity, is a bloody good film with out-standing performances from Dame Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett, not to mention a sublime soundtrack from Philip Glass.

Oh, and Rocky Balboa is also very good fun; don't expect high-art, but it's Rocky returning to his roots - I haven't seen the previous flick, pretty tired of Rocky after his fight with Dolph Lundgren - so I was pleasantly surprised at how good this was. Stallone, it has to be said, looks good at 60 and the fight at end - though quite short - packs a mean punch with some effective digital colouring going on (think Sin City).

Again, well worth watching.

(And there's me thinking I should really have done some writing...)

Surely you can't be serious...

2007-06-21T07:41:00.000Z

... alas, yes. ;-)

Found out yesterday that I didn't get the job I applied for awhile back. Despite the fact I received a letter stating that there were not enough candidates sufficent to proceed to interview stage, therefore the vacancy would be re-advertised and my application would be put forward with the next batch, I didn't even get an interview.

Personally, with it being the Welsh Books Council I probably wasn't Welsh enough (check out the list of employees - I don't think there's one Anglicised name in the list...)

Anyway, it did get me down a little - I mean, you would think I would be quite sufficiently qualified to take on the responsibilities of "Publishing Grants Officer" but then perhaps I'm not...

To console myself, picked up a copy of Airplane! (Special Edition) for three quid in Tesco and sat down with a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale last night and laughed my arse off.

Despite repeating the script verbatim, tears continued to rolled down my face when Randy the stewardess serenaded the little girl; when McCloskey picked the wrong week to quit smoking/drinking/sniffing glue; Ted Striker asked the guy to pinch him; and the whole "Over, Victor, Roger" scene, and a whole host more.

And my job woes were gone... until I woke up this morning.

Ah well, and don't call me shirley.

Musical Heroes

2007-06-02T21:51:00.000Z

It's late, I've been drinking, and Youtube is such a great waste of time, but I found clips of probably my main musical heroes:

Freddie Mercury & Queen: the 1986 Wembley concert is just, well, words fail me ("fuck you").

Vangelis: Alpha (a great 2001 video by someone); Antarctica; Chariots of Fire (naturally); Bladerunner (end titles, video by someone); and, an interview.

Pink Floyd: Comfortably Numb (taken from the film); Shine on You Crazy Diamond (I was so glad I went to that concert!); and, Live 8 (the whole set, with Roger Waters!)

Anyway, time for bed. Well, not really, more drinking - still got a bottle of Magners to polish off... ;-)

Let's just tarmac Essex...

2007-05-30T19:30:00.000Z

As much as part of me may agree, I still don't see how increasing the capacity of Stansted Airport by enlarging the runway is a good thing - I'm not jumping on the environmental band-wagon here, but rather the fact that, quite frankly, I'd rather see a forest of of 800 year-old trees than so-called "progress" which just allows Essex Chav's to use their beer money for a week's jolly in Benidorm.

Trust me, I've been there and never again: when I go on a foreign holiday, I like to go somewhere which doesn't remind me of the UK - yet, in Benidorm what did I find? Cafe's and pubs proclaiming, "watch Eastenders and Corrie here!", "Full English Breakfast and proper English pints".

Dear God, call me a fucking snob but that is just plain wrong, but of course horses for courses...

Why should the South East of England be the hub of air-travel? There are perfectly decent airports in Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds, Liverpool, Bristol, even Cardiff: they may not be as close, but if you add up all the spare capacity of these airports then I'm pretty sure there's more than enough to cover the extra that BAA require...

Instead of "adding to" perhaps we should be looking at "using" what we've already got, or is that just a really simple way of looking at things...?

"Does anyone read short horror stories any more?"

2007-05-25T08:15:00.000Z

Received the latest edition of PS Publishing's Postscripts magazine (which, to be fair, shouldn't really be considered a magazine since it's got an ISBN and is, well, a book but that's splitting hairs to the point of stupidity).

Anyway, #10 is just sublime - Crowther and Gevers have really done themselves proud, not to mention the interior artwork: a special hardcover edition, to coincide with Michael Marshall Smith and Peter Crowther's appearance at World Horror last April. I've only read a couple of the short stories within - Thomas Tessier's and MMS' tale about an obsessive-compulsive's obsession with feng-shui.

This post, though, has nothing to do with them but rather Stephen "Steve" Jones' editorial, which in many ways I agree with, but I have to bring to his attention the fact that he gives not one mention to a UK indie publisher (except PS) but goes onto name-check six American companies.

Yes, it sounds like xenophobia and sour grapes on my part, but to write an editorial about short fiction and not mention Elastic Press is like writing an article about romance and neglecting to mention, erm, Mills & Boon. Admittedly none of the UK indies have the same distribution as Nightshade or Subterreanean, et al, and Elastic doesn't necessarily publish horror per se, but it's still pretty much a kick in the teeth to see a UK editor pontificating upon short fiction and not mention a fellow countryman.

(Mind you, the less said about his mis-pronounciation of Rice Hughes during the World Horror raffle...)

I did say that I agreed with most of what Steve wrote, mainly that short fiction though still popular has some way to reach the heights it had in the '60s and '70s (not that I was old enough to read back then); that mainstream publisher's should be curtailing as fast as bloody possible their infatuation with "celebrity" biographies, that cost a fortune and yet sell fuck-all; and short fiction is quite possibly the perfect antidote to our hectic modern life-style, where "free-time" is already populated with a plethora of gadgets and entertainment devices to occupy.

Instead of browsing the 'net on your lunch-hour, buy an anthology and enjoy a story whilst you eat your sandwich. It is much more intellectually stimulating.

Anyway, if you haven't got your copy yet then for [insert your own deity]'s sake click on Postscript's link above and buy issue ten.

Go on, you know you want to. ;-)

(And if you like what you read, then I'm sure Pete will like you to buy a subscription...)

1984

2007-05-22T07:57:00.000Z

For many years, I've read about the much fabled 1954 BBC adaptation of Orwell's 1984, written for the then fledgling medium of television by Nigel Kneale.

I've seen the 1984 film version, starring John Hurt and an obviously very ill Richard Burton (who died not long after) and found it a very faithful adaptation with superb performances from the two leads, yet the inclusion of tracks by the Eurythmics just detracted too much from the story, which was a pity really...

Anyway, with thanks to Mark Samuels who sent me the link, you can now watch the original TV version on Youtube. Extremely primitive, technically speaking by today's standards, yet the fact it was produced live is just awe-inspiring.

I first read the novel when I was 21, more or less at the start of my working life - prior, I was still in full-time education - and to say it was a politically life-changing experience would be an under-statement; prior, I was a typical Valleys boy, who voted Labour because your family always voted Labour, and that Thatcher and the Tories were evil, but I read the novel then Animal Farm; Huxley's Brave New World and We (not to mention Philip K Dick and William Gibson), and realised quite easily that it's not the political leanings of a party, but rather the level of power a Government has over it's populace.

Any political ideology, taken to extremes, whether it be Communism or Capitalism, is wrong, and will always mean a handful of people subjugating the majority.

The perfect Government should contain elements of both right and left thinking, but as we all know, is there such a thing has a perfect Government?

(Hmm, 9:30am and discussing politics...)

A Successful Weekend

2007-05-21T10:21:00.001Z

With little or no distraction - except for good conversation (what John Probert doesn't know isn't worth knowing about...) and far too much alcohol - I wrote a script, plus several more pages on a work-in-progress story, and read a couple of novella submissions.

Of course, I also sampled the clean, crisp Monmouthshire air with a couple of brisk walks, one of which coincided with a game of chicken with a bull.

Well, I think it was a bull - it could've been a pretty butch-looking cow... Either way, I stuck to my side of the field and he/she stuck to it's, and never the twain shall meet.

Arriving home yesterday, there was a letter waiting for me regarding a job I applied for: unfortunately, due to the number of applications they will be re-advertising the job with a new closing date and I will be re-considered with this fresh batch of applicants.

Not sure what to make of this... though I will be very disappointed if I they decided not to give me an interview: if they had no intention of interviewing me, why keep my hanging on?

Anyway, just have to wait and see.

Cottaging...

2007-05-18T11:16:00.000Z

... now, that got your attention, didn't it? ;-)

Off to Monmouth this weekend, nestled within a cottage with six other writers: Steve Lockley & Paul Lewis, Paul Meloy, John Probert, Simon Bestwick and Mike O'Driscoll.

Should be fun; didn't go to the last one, but the previous stay I caught up with my reading slush pile, not to mention drank a bit and ate a great Lewis curry.

This time around, just two novellas to read but a story which I hope to finish plus a script for the TAPS course, though hopefully I'll be able to get out and breathe in some Monmouthshire countryside air.

Oh, and drink a bit.

TTFN.

I need a lie down...

2007-05-14T08:21:00.000Z

I found myself agreeing with Peter Hichens yesterday.

Time passes...

2007-05-11T13:58:00.000Z

Can't think of anything else to sum up this post, except the obvious: time has passed...

The screenwriting course last weekend was very good, albeit tiring - hard to imagine, but sitting down for three days listening to what an expert has to say is not easy. Need to re-work my Dodderers idea into a coherent short script by 1st June. Knowing my knack of procastination, this is vaguely possible.

Meanwhile, the "2nd person" story is on stop, but next weekend a bunch of us are off to the wild's of Monmouth for three days of writing in a cottage - well, they'll be writing, I'll probably be finishing off the Pendragon reading pile.

Broadband at home is still playing up, though it is slightly better now; 'tis amazing how much not having a reliable internet connection is like having one's arm sawn off... quite sad, really.

Oh, and I've applied for a new job: a vacancy at the Welsh Books Council in Aberystwyth.

Probably off to see 28 Weeks Later this weekend, which looks good; in a similar vein, click on this link and watch quite possibly the best ever zombie flick - pity it's only a trailer.

I did see Spider-Man 3 on Monday, which was entertaining with a great cameo from the superb Bruce Campbell. I'm no Spidey-expert, nor comics in general for that matter, but on a purely filmic level, it was very good; Maguire and Dunst have made the roles their own, especially J K Simmons who was just born to play Jonah Jameson, and Sam Raimi directs like the fan-boy he is.

One more film I can recommend is Crash, which is just superb: an intelligent story about racism from all corners of society, and how it affects a group of individuals in LA during one day. I wish I could write something like that.

Anyway, until next time...

In the second person...

2007-05-03T07:48:00.000Z

I've started writing a new story - I know, I need a lie down - but for some reason, I'm using the second person perspective this time. It's a strange way of writing: first and third POV's sound so natural, yet describing a character as "you" takes some getting used to.

Anyway, will continue with it for as long as I can; at the moment, I've backed myself into a corner, so could well remove the scene tonight if I can't find a way out...

Also, I've been accepted onto that screenwriting course mentioned earlier: starts tomorrow afternoon, and continues through Saturday and Sunday, so whilst you're all catching some rays on a glorious Bank Holiday weekend, I'm stuck in some stuffy room.

Still, the course is free and they'll pay my travelling expenses... to be honest with you, not sure how good the course is: the bumf states that it is for those people whom wish to become a freelance writer, and you are only eligible if you're unemployed, have children, or going back to work after starting a family. Neither of these apply to me, and the deadline was extended for applications, so something tells me that they were desperate for participants.

Fingers crossed I learn something - apparently, over the course, I get to turn a maximum 2-page treatment into a 10-min script: the treatment I wrote, a "horror" story about three kids who foil a mad professor's attempt to ransom the world, by turning all the old-age pensioners into blood-thirsty zombies could fit into half an hour ("Day of the Dodderers") and the final scripts are whittled down and eventually made...

In fact, a good friend of mind reckoned it would make a damn good episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures (which I haven't seen, but my inspiration - not just Romero's zombie flicks, but also those old Children's Film Foundation tales, without the flares or chopper bicycles!)

Will keep you posted...

Crivens... again!

2007-04-20T14:25:00.000Z

Continuing on from my previous post about submitting a short script to ITV Wales, not sure if I told you but it wasn't actually accepted; I received some good feedback, though, which helped, but I put it to one-side and forgot all about it.

Anyway, out of the blue, I received an e-mail this morning stating that my name had been put forward for a free screenwriting course at ITV Wales next month, run by TAPS. They even pay travelling expenses (checking out the website, some of the courses this organisation run are quite expensive... so if it's free... I know, such a cheap bastard!)

Anyway, it's not confirmed that I have a place - they're sending me an application form to fill in - but will keep you posted.

In other news, the TalkTalk broadband saga continues - it was fixed by the time I came back from Toronto, but as of Tuesday it went off again. Hour on the 'phone Wednesday night and I was told it could take 5 working days to fix.

Moral of the story: if you're going to switch ISP, I don't recommend TalkTalk.

Toronto... again

2007-04-08T23:08:00.000Z

Just to let you folks know, I've uploaded a report to the Pendragon site here - if you fancy a read.

On the Monday, I purchased a CD from a band I hadn't heard before: Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. Absolutely fantastic; a stunning album. If you like a bit of arty-soft rock (not akin to Roxy Music) then it's well worth a listen.

Sunshine

2007-04-08T22:54:00.000Z

Watched Danny Boyle's latest this evening, and it's well worth watching with a slight amount of reservation. Written by Alex Garland, who penned 28 Days Later, it is essentially their own personal 2001, though unfortunately Boyle is no Stanley Kubrick and Garland is no Sir Arthur C Clarke.

Sunshine is a very cinematic film, though - and no matter how big your plasma screen at home is, it will not come near to matching the sheer size and spectacle.

Unlike a Hollywood feature, and reminiscent of the aforementioned 2001, the film is slow to start; a pedestrian excercise in character development, setting the story... that gradually builds and builds, with some great set-pieces. It is the end which spoilt it for me; just like 2001, Sunshine falls into a pit of pretentiousness - whereas this worked in 2001, due to the genius of Kubrick, here it doesn't quite fit, along with the decison to have Cillian Murphy speak in an American accent. Why?

Boyle, Andrew MacDonald and Garland must be congratulated on producing a thoroughly decent high-concept sf experience, in the UK and (if the rumour is true) a ridicuously cheap amount of money ($40m) but if only the script was tightened up, and the pretentiousness toned down, for after all, what we have is pretty much a b-movie with bloody good effects.

Jet-Lag

2007-04-04T11:54:00.000Z

Arrived home yesterday from World Horror (a report due soon) and went to bed at 7:30 - awoke this morning at just before noon: I think that's a record insofar as I am concerned.

Great convention, though I didn't see much of it, but anyway before I get carried away you'll just have to wait a day or so for the report...

Hang on...

2007-03-22T09:17:00.000Z

... but can anyone explain Standard Life? I could understand the cuts if they reported a loss, but a profit?

Of course, it must be said that the CEO and other directors need to receive their annual bonus so no doubt the savings with these cuts will finance the as mentioned bonus.

Regarding financial matters, 'twas the Budget yesterday; of course, Gordo would deny that it was a "con trick" and would prefer to say that it was a reward for being prudent and to the public for a properous country. I'm no financial whizz nor tax expert, but dropping income tax by tuppence to 20p in the £1 is surely negated by the abolishing of the 10p tax bracket?

Mind you, I'm all in favour of increasing the duty for 4x4's but not because of any dubious environmental reasons, but rather the fact that they're unsightly and quite frankly not needed in the majority of cases: if you live in the country, run a farm, have a small-holding or work within agriculture, then fair enough a 4x4 is probably necessary, but if the closest you get to the country is your gravel path and battling your way to Tesco, then why on Earth do you need such a behemoth when an Estate or people-carrier could do the job just has easily?

Reminds me of the Canyonero. ;-)

Downtown Toronto

2007-03-20T15:36:00.000Z

Hmm, I can see the CN Tower from here. ;-)

Harlan Ellison

2007-03-16T11:34:00.000Z

The man, the myth, the monster?

I've not read an awful lot of his stories, but those tales I have read have been very good, but Ellison is an author who I have read or heard about; tales of litigation and dubious times at conventions.

An elder statesman of SF who tends to do what he likes purely because he is Harlan Ellison, and if you question him then he sues you.

Twat.

Broadband? We don't need no steeenkin' broadband...

2007-03-16T08:40:00.000Z

... well, actually, I do; I know, it sounds sad and corny and unbelieveable geeky, but when you do most of this publishing lark in the evenings, catching up on e-mails and so forth, then lack of connectivity at home sort of curtails the whole enterprise.

Luckily, I have access in work but just don't tell the boss...

Wednesday night, the telephone network in the entire street just went dead - BT turned up the following morning, and fixed it, which was great but unfortunately there is no broadband.

Spent two hours last night, all in all, mostly listening to Something in the Air by Thunderclap Newman but eventually getting through to some bods from India: first lady said that my password was incorrect (though I just knew this wasn't the case); I rang back, and again Mr Newman serenaded me, then I spoke to a gentleman who gave me a number to ring to check for "outages" (no errors reported); then, at quarter to eight, I got through to another lady who gave me the correct settings for my router - typed these, but still nowt.

Despite telling them each time that two other people - my niece and cousin both on the same exchange but with different ISPs - also could not connect to the 'net (which would lead most to believe that possibly there was something wrong with the exchange?) they kept on saying that there was nothing wrong with the line, and it was my equipment...

So, tonight, no doubt I've got another trans-world telephone journey to undertake. Oh fucking joy, and I just know that by the time this situation is fixed, I'll be permenantly affected by Mr Thunderclap and start to convulse everytime I hear that song (which is a pity since it is a rather good tune).

Thank you Talktalk.

Still, caught up on some reading for Triquorum and now have nothing left to read - well, apart from the "second read" pile, but that should be a doddle, not to mention the handful of novellas and one or two novels that I've yet to make a decision on for Pendragon.

OFS

2007-03-15T11:16:00.000Z

Or, "Oh for Fuck's Sake": news stories that just leave you speechless...

Short-term Jails in Shopping Centres.

Cameron's Hair.

Or, are they just trying to divert attention away from Trident? Personally speaking, "to renew or not?" is not the question but rather I'd like to know why, when the Ministry of Defence continues to cut-back on our Armed Forces, to the point where soldiers in Iraq have to "give up" body armour and transport aircraft still aren't fitted with the necessary equipment that could possible help protect the pilot and staff within, who are there to fight a war which you started, Mr Blair.

And, how much will Trident cost? Not to mention London 2012!

cough

2007-03-15T09:17:00.000Z

How many? Twelve million Harry Potter 7's. Now, that's a lot of books.

And you still won't find a copy on my bookshelf. ;-)

Does this ring a bell?

2007-03-10T18:28:00.000Z

Skynet. And there was me thinking the US were responsible for annihilating the World's population by creating a satellite that became self-aware.

It was the Brits after all! Oh fuck.

Talking of "oh fuck" looks like Wales will be heading for the wooden spoon, unless they beat England next week on the final game of the last Six Nations 2007 weekend.

Possible. ;-)

Fucking English ref!

The shit hits the fan...

2007-03-08T08:35:00.000Z

... or, rather, the water from the bath hits the floor in the kitchen. Yes, we have a leak; the u-tube that connects the plughole to the outlet pipe magically worked its way free, and a bathtub of soapy water gushed out, broke through the plaster in the ceiling and saturated the floor beneath. Lovely.

And, to cap it all, I can feel that the handbrake on the car is a bit 'iffy'.

They say trouble comes in three's (though who these 'they' are I do not know...) so I'm just waiting for God to strike me down with a furious anger...

Still, got me health and a holiday to look forward to. :-)

How much shall I take?

2007-03-07T14:34:00.000Z

Just ordered CAD $ 430 for my trip to Toronto but, I'm wondering how, how much shall I take in total? Should $100 a day be sufficient, which in that case will mean an extra $200 to buy...

Or, is $430 more than enough for six days (Wednesday I arrive at 4pm, and the following Monday I leave at 6pm).

Decisions, decisions...

The Violence of the Lambs

2007-02-26T21:13:00.000Z

I've been a big fan of Peter Jackson, moreso his earlier low-budget horror flicks (Bad Taste and Braindead) along with the muppets on acid Meet the Feebles, so when I came across Black Sheep, the spirit of Bad Taste lives on in New Zealand.

And if the trailer is anything to go by, then it should be a bloody good laugh.

I wonder if the sequel will be filmed in Wales?

Robocop vs Terminator

2007-02-21T20:15:00.000Z

You have to ask whether he has way too much free-time... nevertheless, this is still an extremely well-edited short film.

Again, part of the whole nostalgia thing, but can you believe Robocop is twenty years old, and the original Terminator is twenty-three?

EDIT: Link didn't work - fixed.

The 80s

2007-02-21T14:32:00.000Z

I'm currently listening to the 80s Movie Hits album (it was "acquired" shall we say) and listening to it, as you'd probably expect, brought back memories... being six in 1980 and sixteen in 1990, it was pretty much my formative years (though I became an adult in the 90s but for the life of me I cannot remember half as many songs from the decade fashion forgot...)

When I went to watch Hot Fuzz last weekend with a mate of mine from those days, there was a boy about six in the queue and it dawned on me: was I ever that small?

I can remember having our first betamax VCR in about 1980/81 and this was before the Video Recordings Act... no wonder I turned out like I have!

Being "of that age" girls featured on the horizon, though being shy and fat with NHS specs didn't exactly help matters (mind you, I still have a sad memory of making a girl cry for not accepting her Valentine's Card when I was seven - Sally, if you're reading this, sorry).

And let's not go where Kelly le Brock and Molly Ringwald featured in my thoughts, shall we?

I still reckon many of the "teen" films from the 80s still stand today, many of whom penned by John Hughes, with Pretty in Pink and Ferris Bueller's Day Off being two of my favourites. Not to mention Flashdance - if only all welders looked like Jennifer Beals. ;-)

And the music? What can be said of the music - sheer joy! And I mean that... and this is a great site to relive those memories. The first tape I ever purchased was a Madness album, and even though I loved listening to the chart rundown on Sunday evening I didn't actually buy a lot of music.

I did, though, buy a lot - not to mention copy a lot - of games for my trusty Spectrum 48k then later the 128k +2, not to mention the magazines Your Sinclair, Sinclair User and Crash (I bet you were expecting me to say Fiesta then, weren't you? I was too young to buy that... but naturally if one of my mates' older brother happened to have a copy lying around...)

The 80s were definitely the boom-time for computer enthusiasts, and it was all down to Sir Clive: back then, I loved to wrangle with code, but now computers do leave me rather cold; they aren't simple any more, rather costly affairs, with a cumbersome operating system. Back then, it was easy: LOAD "" and press play on tape, even changing the screen and printing your name was a cinch:

10 CLS
20 PAPER 0; INK 7
30 PRINT "Hello Chris"
40 GOTO 20

What's that in C++ or HTML? Well, I did know what it would be in C but like many things I studied in College, C++ syntax has all but vanished from memory...

Anyway, I'm an adult now and I don't have kids - the closest are my two nieces, the eldest of which is twelve - going on twenty - and watching her grow-up both fills me with dread (she's not a kid any more) but also a wry smile at my own memories of when I were that age, though I think (hand on heart) it was a more innocent time; there seems to be more of a pull for kids to grow-up faster today. I'm probably all rose-tinted spectacles, and my parents' generation probably thought the same as when my generation was growing up, but the fashions, music and films for pre-teen and teens today seem to be older.

Or perhaps I am just an old man, but I don't think we had a similar artist to Snoop Dogg or whatever in the 80s...

Anyway, just some rambling memories - the boss isn't in today, and you don't actually expect me to do work, do you?

Cardiff to... Anglesey?

2007-02-21T09:28:00.000Z

This is no fluffy-eared enviromental argument, but is it really necessary to have a Cardiff-Anglesey airlink?

And if, after three years, the venture isn't commercially viable and the public subsidy ends, will it just be a few million quid down the swanney, which could've been used to improve the existing public transport links between north and south Wales?

Of course, why didn't they think of that?

But, aircraft are so much sexier than trains, and in today's hustle-bustle world, where a jet-setting company executive in Cardiff must get to a high-powered business meeting in Llangefni in less than an hour, then the 40min air journey is a must.

Candid photography?

2007-02-19T19:45:00.000Z

As some of you may know, I'm off to Toronto next month for World Horror, and it's about time I purchased myself a new camera - my trusty Olympus (purchased, as it happened, for my journey to Chicago for World Horror 2002) is sadly showing it's age, and the lack of optical zoom is now very annoying.

So, after a spot of shufty on the ol' interwebnet, I've come across the Fuji Finepix S5600 which at £130 is cheaper than what I paid for my Olympus. Technology, eh?

It does look rather spiffing, and the write-ups on line are very complimentary, but is there anyone out there with a inkling of photographic knowledge reckon it's a decent camera?

Ta muchly.

"Oh, fuck off grasshopper!"

2007-02-19T19:27:00.000Z

Watched Hot Fuzz last night - absolutely hilarious, which only suffers from just being slightly too long (a few nips and tucks in the edit would've brought the film down from just over two hours.)

Nevertheless, Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright are essentially the current Godfather's of British Comedy, and after the faultless zombie horror-fest Shaun of the Dead and now this, the buddy-cop movie, is there any genre that they cannot write? Who knows, but I'd be very interested to see what they make of Jane Austen or Pride and Prejudice.

I won't bore you with the plot, since you can just click on the above link, but Pegg and Nick Frost make - and as you would expect - a superb double-act to easily rival Crockett & Tubbs, Carter & Regan, Riggs & Murtaugh, Bhodi & Utah et al.

The film is also surprisingly gory - Adam Buxton's demise is particulary note-worthy - but what makes it even special for me, are the number of recognisable faces from British TV, "oh it's her from... and him from..." Well, recognisable to us, but not to you, the overseas reader. Best of the crop is probably Bill Bailey who plays, well, Bill Bailey. Twice. ;-)

There is also, apprently, two un-credited cameo's from A-list actors in the film - Cate Blanchett included. I think I know who she played, but I can't place the other.

Being major film-buffs/geeks, Pegg and Wright cram in as many action-cop film references as posible - the main element being Point Break.

Anyway, enough of my waffling: get on down to your local flea-pit and watch it - trust me, you won't be disappointed.

By the way, the title refers to probably the funniest line in the film. Rivals Braindead's "I kick arse for the Lord!"

What is it about foul-mouthed vicars?

Stranger on the Sofa

2007-02-17T21:43:00.000Z

Received Barry Adamson's latest album this morning, and it's fantastic, funky, jazzy and cool as fuck.

Adamson produces, dare I say it, "concept albums". His debut, Moss Side Story is essentially a tale of growing up in that notorious district of Manchester; As Above So Below is a soulful meditation on death. It was this that got me hooked on his music, after reading an interview with him in Bizarre magazine (when it actually wrote articles on bizarre stuff rather than being a wannabe lad's mag.)

The only album he's released that is purely just "songs" is I'd say Oedipus Schmoedipus and you probably won't find any of his stuff in the charts, which is no bad thing if you ask me. I can't remember the last time I actually checked the charts...

After The King of Nothing Hill he parted company with Mute, and it was just a chance encounter upon his website that I discovered the new album, which is self-released. I'm glad I did.

A superb mix of funk, soul, electronica; a soundtrack to an imaginary film, which many of his albums have been: Moss Side Story actually contains a director credit. :)

Wholly recommended, and well worth checking out.

Crivens!

2007-02-16T20:02:00.000Z

Amazingly, and after too many stop-starts in my writing (editing and publishing other people's doesn't half curtail your own creative output - the bastards! ;-) ) I started to write a short script last month for a scheme run by ITV Wales & Bridgend Youth Theatre called "It's My Shout!" (which is essentially something like The Children's Film Foundation).

I watched a couple of the films last year - typically of ITV Wales, they were shown at 11pm on a Friday night - and in the main they were okay, if nothing spectacular (though there was one particular short, which was a very funny take on bullying...)

Anyway, the guidelines specifically asked for films in the vein of comedy, drama or horror - things which the kids themselves would like - and so in a fit of inspiration, I wrote "Home": a tale set in a children's home which isn't quite what it seems...

Four drafts later, I delivered it this afternoon - the closing date is next Monday.

Whether I get anywhere is, well, debatable, but they're looking for seven scripts, of which six will go into production, so who knows? I don't.

Anyway, not much planned this weekend - couple of drinks tomorrow, and quite possibly Hot Fuzz on Sunday. Which would sound positively disgusting, if it weren't for the fact it's the title of Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright's latest film.

I doubt it's funnier than Boys in Blue, though. ;-)

"Character building"?

2007-02-15T20:18:00.000Z

Of course it is. *rolls eyes*

The sooner we implement licences for prospective parents the better...

Even the two year-old toddler knew what he was doing was wrong - which proves he had more intelligence than the four adults combined; I wonder if these four women will, in twenty years time, consider it "character building" if the boy turns into a wife-beating shit-head?

Don't be under the impression me and my sister didn't fight when we were young - I can remember play-fighting with her, but in no way were we toddlers, and our family most definitely didn't goad us on.

Unbelieveable.

As Boys Grow

2007-02-10T19:16:00.000Z

I can just about remember sex education from school, though it was no where near as funny as this.

Primeval

2007-02-08T20:03:00.000Z

Sludge? Though it could be worth watching this Saturday - mind you, how sober I'll be after Scotland vs Wales is another matter.

Is it me?

2007-01-30T15:04:00.000Z

But, does anyone else think, "what the fuck?"

Or, is she just making a political statement because she doesn't like Sir Ian Blair?

Calling all Welsh Writers

2007-01-29T16:15:00.000Z

I've rather foolishly talked myself into co-editing an anthology of Welsh sf (science fiction/fantasy/horror) for all writers either based or born in, or have a familial link to Wales.

The book is due to be published by Screaming Dreams and as yet there is no publication date - this is on Steve Upham's (publisher) back burner - and as of now, there will be no financial reward (except copy or copies). We will, though, be looking into getting some kind of funding and hopefully paying a nominal fee for each story.

So, get writing.

Thicker than Water

2007-01-28T20:51:00.000Z

Just been to see Blood Diamond: an entertaining boy's own adventure, that hints at the political shenanigans that occur in the background.

Leonard DeCaprio is shaping up to be a very good actor, but is out-played by Djimon Hounsou, who is entirely convincing as a father on a single-minded quest to find his family. Jennifer Connolly is pretty much side-lined, which is disappointing, but then this is a boy's own adventure (no girlies allowed).

Very violent but rarely gratuitous - to coin a phrase from the film "TIA: This is Africa". Impressively directed by Edward Zwick (I prefer this to Last Samarai), specifically the scenes where young children are brain-washed into murderous soldiers.

I particulary liked Danny Archer (DeCaprio) insisting on where he was born: Rhodesia not Zimbabwe. This is not a racist statement, but rather the fact that what Mugabe did/doing to the white farmer's is no different to what Sir Cecil Rhodes did in the very beginning.

In fact, the film sparked off a larger-scale conversation on the way home with my mate, where we asked: are those ex-British colonies really better off under self-rule than when governed by Her Majesty's Government? It seems to me, that the little guy - the poor bloke at the bottom of the rung - continues to live in squalor whereas his brother now lives in splendour... or am I being too simplistic in my viewpoint?

Anyway, back to the film: wholeheartedly recommended. Will be keeping an eye on Hounsou this Award's season - be very surprised if he doesn't get the Oscar for supporting actor.

Mind you, I'm still reeling over the Academy's decision not to nominate Children of Men's Alfonso Cuarón for best director.

Stupidity

2007-01-27T20:45:00.000Z

I should, but I cannot, shed a tear for this lad.

I can remember doing stupid stuff when I was a kid, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever even consider sticking my head out onto the path of an oncoming train.

"You, stupid boy."

Britain, Britain, Britain...

2007-01-22T20:48:00.000Z

... now, what do you consider an acceptable face of the Nation? This rather silly girl or these who risked everything to bring back their fallen comrade who had hitherto died.

Now, who do you think had the most media coverage last week?

Sometimes, I weep for how vacuous not only our media has become but also the population of the UK.

Tirty-tree

2006-12-31T16:32:00.000Z

Not quite "and a tird" yet, but yes: 'tis my thirty-third birthday today, and I'm not pissed yet (that's in a couple of hours).

Hope everyone has a good ol' time this evening, and that 2007 turns out to be a good one for you all!

Bashing the bishop?

2006-12-11T16:21:00.000Z

Drunk? Surely not...

Battersea Power Station

2006-12-09T22:34:00.000Z

I love this building, ever since I first heard Pink Floyd's "Animals". You can only see three funnels, but all four together and it's such a distinctive landmark.

Amazing architecture.

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry..."

2006-12-04T11:13:00.000Z

I am normally quite a placid driver, rarely infuriated by the habits of other road users, yet this morning I honked my horn twice on the way into work: first, it was a mini-cab who decided to have a chat with his colleague - trouble is, both were double-parked at the time!

Second time, someone had stopped on the dual-carriageway waiting to pick up someone - okay, so the road was quite but nevertheless: you do not stop on a dual-carriageway unless it is an emergency.

Twats!

God forbid if I see anyone parked awkwardly in Tesco lunchtime, or leaving a trolley in a parking bay 'cos they're too fucking lazy to take it back.

Coming Soon...

2006-11-27T20:40:00.000Z

... to a theatre near you: Shining - a bittersweat romantic drama starring Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall.

Looks good. :)

An efficient workplace

2006-11-25T14:37:00.000Z

This is where I work (when not doing the day-job) - note ironic use of the blog title:

(You can't hear it, but I'm listening to Tenacious D.)

Anyone want to take a guess at what is on the book/dvd-case next to the PC?

A Woman's Mind

2006-11-23T16:31:00.000Z

The little blue balls indicate a particular "thought" - so many... imagine how efficient they'd be with just two? ;-)

Click on the image to see it in "action", so to speak.

Emmy-who?

2006-11-21T11:31:00.000Z

Whoever she is, then UK-TV did very well: wins for Life on Mars and Ray Winstone, surely one of the best actors working today - Vincent may not be high-art, but it's a thoroughly decent and entertaining drama and - shock! horror! - it's broadcast on ITV!

Yes, the same channel that gives us "Celebrity Arse-Swap" or whatever it's called.

Will wonders never cease, or has Lew Grade and the spirit of ATV finally hit the numbskulls in charge and they've finally realised, "hang on, viewers want to be entertained with drama?"

Strewth.

Heaven is...

2006-11-20T14:42:00.000Z

One rasher of bacon.
One fried egg.
Two sausages.
All wrapped up inside a white baguette roll, and smothered in brown sauce.

Bliss.

I could eat it every day, but I won't... for obvious reasons - but, as a hangover cure, it's nigh on perfect.

I blame the monks...

2006-11-20T11:14:00.000Z

... it's not my fault I'm suffering this morning from alcohol consumption (specifically a few bottles of Magners).

I mean, if it wasn't for those monks a few centuries ago, so bored with their hum-drum life that they decided to try fermenting vegetables, then I wouldn't have ended up drinking the evil alcoholic apple juice and puking my guts this morning... evil monks.

Still, it was a good excuse for the family to get-together: Christening for my cousin's new baby. In fact, despite the entire family living only a couple of miles apart, it does take special occasions to get them altogether, and then I only ever see aunts and uncles once or twice a year... and then regret it the following morning, after imbibbing far too much of the evil apple juice.

Anyway, no work done yesterday... and off to get a greasy sausage/bacon roll in a minute.

Hmmm..... :)

Prestigious!

2006-11-13T09:55:00.000Z

Watched quite possibly the best film of the year last night (despite what I wrote in an earlier post): The Prestige is just fantastic... a superb piece of cinema from Chris Nolan, ably abetted by his brother Jonathan and wife Emma Thomas).

I've not read the original novel by Christopher Priest, so cannot vouch for authenticity, but the multi-strand storyline, though complicated never felt confusing; a great cast - Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and Michael Caine, with a surprising turn from David Bowie as Nicolai Tesla and Scarlett Johansson who, despite press reports, doesn't mangle an English accent: it's not perfect, but then we're not talking Dyke van Dyke bad either, eh Mary Poppins?

A thoroughly recommended film, which is both mainstream and sf with enough twists and turns, that like it's subject matter of magic will leave you spellbound and wonder how many times Chris Nolan has pulled the old sleight-of-hand trick.

Begone Satan!

2006-11-10T13:09:00.000Z

NHS or was it a private consult?

eBay Store

2006-11-05T11:50:00.000Z

I've thought about it for awhile, but I took the plunge and actually decided to sell some books on eBay, so click here for maestegbooks - none of the Pendragon titles are on there, just old paperbacks that have been lying on my shelves, gathering dust. I've read them, but not going to re-read them, so may has well try and get some cash, eh?

At the moment, there's a couple by Terry Pratchett, plus James Herbert, Robert Harris and Christopher Fowler.

Take a look... more will be added in due course. :)

Some bedtime reading...

2006-11-03T22:09:00.000Z

Thought I'd post an old story of mine, entitled "Grumbling" which I half-heartedly submitted to Poetas III in 1998 (a competition run by the Big Issue Cymru). It was one of the finalists, and was subsequently published - my first ever acceptance. :)

It's not a comfortable story, but the wife of a friend of mine - both then in their late 50s - thought it was excellent.

Grumbling

I sat on the toilet, my legs spread, naked. My stomach was fat; it was grumbling, it felt like it was grumbling. My hand gripped the hairbrush, and I worked myself into a frenzy; I forced the cheap plastic handle deep inside myself, in and out, in and out, over and over again. I felt the pain, but I wanted the grumbling to stop.

I saw the tiny spurt of blood as it trickled onto the cold linoleum floor beneath my feet. I continued my motion, thrusting the handle deep, deeper. My fairy was hurting, bad; but the grumbling wasn’t dead.

I heard his footsteps, on the soft carpet outside the door.

I stopped.

I listened.

The door was locked.

Good.

“Kay?” the voice asked, calm and kindly, through the wooden door. My fists clenched, and I began to sweat, which began to trickle between my boobs. “Kay?” the voice asked again. “Y’ okay?”

I hissed a swear word – it sounded funny, since my teeth were almost together. I was angry, my blood felt like it was boiling in my veins. My thrusting became more vigorous, damning. The blood trickled freely, a pool formed between my feet.

I heard the steps walk away.

I stopped. It wasn’t working: the grumbling didn’t stop, but became louder. I began to cry.

“Kay!” another voice, louder; angry. It came from downstairs.

“Yes mother.” I replied, years of training took over for me. I was thirteen, felt like three.

“Listen to your brother.” she shouted back. “And dinner's ready.” An afterthought, that was; I wasn’t eating, not since last Tuesday: four days. I wanted my stomach to stop grumbling, but it wouldn’t.

I felt it move, though: it was hungry.

I stood up, and opened the door. The hair brush wasn’t long enough. I walked down the landing, past my parent’s room, past my brother’s: Bastard. Fucker. I learned those words; they’re horrible. They described him.

I entered my bedroom, and closed the door. I jammed my chair beneath the handle.

I opened my wardrobe, and there it was. The only one not used. I took the hanger, and began to straighten it - it was harder than I thought: I wish I had eaten - I needed the strength. I worked the wire into shape, a straight length. I sat on the edge of the bed, and looked down, then towards the door.

“Our father,” I began, “who art in heaven.”

I held the wire softly between my fingers, and slowly eased its way in.

“Hallowed by thy name.”

The pain escalated, but I didn’t scream – I wanted to, but I didn’t; I didn’t want them to hear, to find out.

My brother would be mad; my father would be madder.

My mother would be sad.

My hands became bloody. I felt the wire deep inside; my stomach still grumbled.

“Thy kingdom come.”

My stomach began to grumble less. The blood flowered faster. My bed was red.

“Thy will be done.”

The grumbling stopped. I stopped, and fell back onto my duvet. The wire stuck out; it was funny too look at: it looked like a willy.

I smiled:

“Amen.”

U-bend

2006-11-02T09:13:00.000Z

It's funny, but as predicted in my previous post, lawyers have obviously smelt a money-making opportunity if this news item is anything to go by...

If Utube were so incensed with Youtube over the number of times its website crashed, after being inadvertantly browsed by countless millions of teenagers wanting to upload inane footage from their camera-phone, then why didn't they sue before the file-sharing site was bought by Google for squillions of dollars?

Strange that.

Nigel Kneale: RIP

2006-11-01T09:46:00.000Z

With regard to my earlier post about Quatermass and the Pit, news has sadly reached me about the death of it's creator Nigel Kneale, who passed away at the age of 84 last Sunday.

No mention on the BBC News site, though - he's obviously not as important as Muffin the Mule's 60th birthday.

Really?

2006-10-31T12:14:00.000Z

Personally, I thought SAW III was shit...

Nicked from Stu's blog

2006-10-28T23:13:00.000Z

1.Grab the nearest book.

2.Open the book to page 123.

3.Find the fifth sentence.

4.Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

5.Don't you dare dig for that 'cool' or 'intellectual' book in your closet! I know what you are thinking! Just pick up whatever is closest.

Okay, so the closest at hand was Stephen Gallagher's "Out of his Mind" collection:

"He's winding us up again," she said. "They don't have peep shows for women. Watching blokes jiggling around starkers to disco music, you wouldn't keep still for laughing."
"I didn't say anything about being part of the show," Raymond said. "I was maintenance."

Anyway, time to finish my pint then off to bed... toodle-pip.

"I wiped my arse in the faunt!"

2006-10-28T11:21:00.000Z

'Tis fucking raining like the proverbial...

Rang the Inland Revenue this morning to enquire about something and other, but was told their system is down - nice to see our taxes are being used to pay people to work on Saturday when they can't actually answer any queries, and told me to ring during the week. Great.

Anyway, what's with the title of this post? I finished watching Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (the quote is from "The Apes of Wrath" episode :) ). Absolutely sheer comedic genius - if you haven't seen it, then pop out now and get the dvd - or purchase it online from all good dvd retailers.

Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade are just fantastically funny has Garth and Dean Learner (his publisher) respectively. In fact, I'd say Ayoade is funnier - it takes a good actor to play someone trying to act, really badly.

But, Darkplace works because of the whole thing: the lighting, design, music - everything is reminiscent of those rather dodgy 80s television programmes that seemed to pop up, then disappear almost immediately (for some reason, Manimal springs to mind - anyone remember that? God, that was awful...)

And Garth himself - if you're fan of horror writing, then you'll instantly recognise who Holness and Ayoade based him on, an amalgam of Shaun Hutson and James Herbert (but there's also a bit of Ramsey Campbell in there too.)

Well worth watching, along with their new series - Man to Man with Dean Learner, which is essentially a late-night chatshow where Ayoade (as Learner) chats with various celebrities who he has worked with. It's currently broadcast on C4, with two episodes thus far: the first, with Garth, and last night's with Steve Piser (also played by Holness, in an almost note-perfect impression of Nigel Mansell - though it did remind me of Steve Coogan's turn as the boring night attendant from "The Pool" documentary that was shown within the superb The Day Today).

So, what is planned for the remainder of the weekend? Hopefully the rain'll ease off so that I can pop into town and drop off my parent's PC for a second-opinion (it's dead, but hopefully not terminal). I also need to stock up on some beer, and possibly something watch this evening - yes, it's all go in my life!

So, until next time...

btw, a bunch of kids knocked on the door last night, all dressed in those masks from Scream, "happy hallowe'en!" and then they expected me to part with some silver. I think the little oiks were hoping I was as thick as them, and were rather taken aback when I retorted with, "but Hallowe'en is on the 31st... come back then!" and closed the door.

Cheeky fuckers.

Adios.

APPENDUM: This was written earlier this morning, but for some sodding reason it couldn't be published... but since then, it is still raining like the proverbial, but I've ventured out, stocked up on beer, bread and learnt that parent's PC is indeed terminal and will require a new mo-bo plus processor and and memory. Oh fucking joy!

Still, 'tis cheaper than buying a new one, and it is my father's birthday on Wednesday - I'll probably split it with my mother. The cost that is, not the PC.

"You're all individuals..."

2006-10-26T10:11:00.000Z

Apparently, in the USA, I'm not:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
156
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

He's a nice man...

2006-10-24T08:54:00.000Z

... a very nice man, who might make me rich. Possibly.

Well, movie options are ten a-penny, but according to this Variety report, Tim Lebbon's White may well be heading to a big screen sometime soon.

Did I tell you I've got a copy of it's original publication - not the Nightshade book, but the MOT chapbook (signed) published a few years ago? Right, I'll start the bidding at £75... ;-)

And if there is a Lebbon completist reading this, then you can also bag a copy of Nasty Snips too (which contains the first-appearance of his story "The Beach").

Anyway, I hope this "breakthrough" gives Tim some recognition in the UK - most of his published work is in the US, where he is quite probably huge, but as yet no UK deal.

The Health & Sanity of a Small Press Publisher

2006-10-20T08:14:00.000Z

Or the lack of both. :(

The last month I've been wrapping and despatching books like a hot-arse fly - mainly Gary McMahon's Rough Cut - and despite an apparent sense of organisational ability, I've still discovered a couple of Amazon orders un-posted, tucked away after being freshly printed. D'oh!

And, to cap it all, my procastination is leaving Choices far far too late (though I'm pretty confident it'll make it's publication in December) and I've got my tax return to file online... which means, now, I'm coming down with a raspy and phelgmy throat and sniffle, which is probably due to a severe lack of asleep the last couple of weeks (too much shit running around inside my head...)

Okay, so I may have more sleep than the parent of a young child, but in a way these books are my kids. Oh God, that phrase belongs in "Pseud's Corner".

Anyway, to paraphrase: burning the candle at both ends isn't good for your health, therefore is there a kindly philanthropist reading this, and willing to give me £10,000 so that I could do this publishing thing full-time for a year at least...

No? Bollocks.

Well, I'll have to soldier on then and console myself with a few beers tonight - then I'll hit the cold & flu remedies tomorrow.

Gotta get my priorities right. :)

Bang! you're dead...

2006-10-13T10:24:00.000Z

Love this, an apparently banned advertisement for Xbox Live multi-player gaming.

Reminds so much of playing cops and robbers when I were a kid. :)

Christians? Not from where I'm sitting...

2006-10-12T08:06:00.000Z

Westboro Baptist Church.

All I can be bothered to say is this: FUCK OFF YOU BUNCH OF IN-BRED MORONS.

Shock! Bears Defecate in the Woods!

2006-10-11T08:52:00.000Z

"Tesco hit by Channel 4 charge of using child workers"

Though to clarify: I don't believe that Tesco knowingly employs child workers, but has the comments on the article attests, if we continue to buy cheap goods, where do you think they source these cheap goods? Why, the Far East and other developing countries of course, and where do you think the proliferation of child labour exists?

Yes, in the woods.

Internet Bubble: Mark II?

2006-10-11T08:44:00.000Z

Or will Google's take-over of YouTube be a success?

Naturally, the founders of YouTube'll be smiling all the way to the bank, but as the article attests: will this be one huge legal jungle for Google's lawyers, with ambulance-chasers after a quick buck issuing writs left, right and centre on behalf of their clients who own such and such video and audio clip that is held on the site's server.

Personally, I'd like to think that copyright-holders will see Youtube has one big marketing possibility and allow people to upload this and that, since for all said and done it is "exposure" for said product/film/performer, but if Google is forced it inhibit such uploads, and the site requires advertising revenue to function, then it could mean less and less people perusing the site which then means companies no longer spend so much on advertising revenue.

Mind you, I could be the only person who actually buys a CD even if I have downloaded song or songs from that same album for free, but I like to think I'm not...

"Goaded to Death"

2006-10-06T08:38:00.000Z

Ah! typical restraint from The Sun, and an oh-so sincere piece of "journalism" that just happens to coincide with a caring campaign, by the paper, to rid our community of yobbish behaviour.

Just like the oh-so caring campaign against paedophiles, that isn't about selling newspapers. Oh no!

Yes, I hate The Sun and all that it stands for.

Anyway, back to the story: what a waste - we need more eccentrics in the world (though none of the egocentric warmongering variety - UK politics lost it when ol' Sutch passed on, if you ask me). John Clews sounded like a genuinely nice person, who happened to dress up like Tom Baker - no bad thing, if you ask me, the actor's on the same level of genius has Brian Blessed.

He doesn't deserve a tabloid hijacking his death for some worthless attempt to boost ailing circulation figures.

In fact, if it wasn't for that "newspaper" and its continual championing of chavish behaviour/entertainment, then today's society would probably be just a tad better...

Farewell John Clews - I didn't know you, but I hope you're flying through the Cosmos in your very own TARDIS.